Here are a few pics of Joey and I :) One of my fave pastimes with him (which will probably not come as a surprise to you who know me well!) is taking pics of us on his phone! Here are a few of the good ones as of late:

Haha, and he claims that this one somehow "epitomizes" our relationship :) Basically, him being goofy/making jokes and me thinking he's ridiculous! ;) You can just imagine me saying, "Jooeeeey..."


I love him! :)

In 40 days, my life will change in a lot of ways! But in the essential ways it will not - still loving Jesus, loving the Church and loving those who don't know Jesus :) I'm excited!

Hello!   44 days til Joey and I's marriage begins!!

So, the post of this blog refers to all the loveliness of Pre-Marital preparations! I've been referring to the pre-marital stuff (not just the counseling - everything!) lovingly as "holiness boot camp" because it really does feel like it. It's refining, for the purpose of training. But in the end it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness (Heb 10:11)! Yay! Thought I'd share some of my findings with the blogosphere :)


1. Preparing for marriage is hard. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's so worth it. And I'm not even talking really about the money stuff, house stuff, all the administrative stuff, etc. I'm talking mostly about the spiritual/emotional/relational side of preparing. Joey and I have had so many hard and extensive "conversations" in the past few months, I can't even tell ya! But this leads me to my next point.

2. Preparing for marriage/Marriage in general is a holiness workout. Man, you wanna find out some of your biggest faults, most dark and hidden secrets, worst qualities? You wanna get HUMBLED? Find someone and get married ;). Learn how to serve and love selflessly! Haha, that's a little bit of an exaggeration probably. The Lord works in mysterious ways. But I've heard that marriage certainly speeds up the holiness process. I've learned so much more about my pride, my resistance to spiritual authority, insecurity, and desire to control as we've prepared for marriage. Had to deal with a lot of issues. But it's SO GOOD! Joey and I keep reminding ourselves that we're going to be better people because of it :)

3. I've learned so much about God's grace, love and forgiveness. I understand God's love more. As Joey and I have been preparing for marriage, we are obviously getting closer together and learning more about our histories. As you learn about someone else's past...especially someone you are going to marry...it's hard not to see them differently. Our hearts are always more wicked than we think, and, most likely, so are the hearts of people around us! BUT, through this process of "full disclosure," I've experienced the forgiveness of God in a powerful way. When I first met Joey, I saw all his best qualities - I saw him as a servant, a committed follower of Jesus, and as a humble and strong man (all of which he certainly is!!!). After you get to know someone, you start to see their faults. After you hear about their past struggles, you see them as they REALLY ARE. What I am challenged with is this: God knows all of MY past struggles, current struggles, faults, secrets, pride, etc. *But he still calls me the righteousness of God. He still loves me through and through. He does NOT see me according to my past identity - as Psalm 103 says, "He does not deal with us according to our iniquities." That's what makes his love so great! That's what makes grace so awesome- REDEMPTION and NEW LIFE! So in loving another person, we choose not to "overlook" their sin - sin is sin, all the time, and as such is a serious act of rebellion against God - but to love them through it and choose to forgive them in ABUNDANCE. I choose to see Joey as God has made him to be, and really, also for what he WILL be - not for his past sins or struggles! Not for his faults! I choose to see Joey as God sees Joey! Such a freeing fact, because it frees ME up as well; Lord knows I don't want to be judged for what I've done and have a "stained record." Jesus has washed both Joey and I clean. We have both been pretty messed up. We have both committed serious actions against God. We have both rebelled. But we are both REDEEMED, forgiven and free! We both are made new and alive in Jesus through his sacrifice and radical forgiveness! Forgiveness really is one of the most powerful forces on earth!

4. I really do love Joey. Through numbers 1, 2, and 3, I love Joey all the more! We are having SO much fun together in this time. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it stinks, sometimes it's no fun whatsoever... but, hey, that sounds kind of like LIFE - really great at times, not so great at times! That's what I LOVE about all this stuff - it's real! I've had so many fantasized ideas about marriage in the past. As my bubbles have been "bursted" learning about the cold, hard realities about marriage, I've actually come to love the idea of it even more - Joey and I have a REAL relationship because we see each other for who we are and still love each other lots and lots! Our marriage is going to be REAL because we don't see it as the end-all-be-all. In the end, only JESUS satisfies. Only JESUS is the perfect "spouse,"  if you will. Joey cannot meet all my needs! I am not a "half-soul," only complete whenever I have finally found my "other half." I am completely whole in Jesus! Marriage is but a taste, a shadow - meant to propel us into more intimacy with Jesus. That's why I'm so excited about marriage! Not because my life's goal will "finally" be fulfilled - but because there's not all this pressure to have the best marriage, be the best wife, have the best husband and the brightest future; no, the goal is JESUS, and Joey and I get to press on toward the goal together. We are going to be living life together - REAL life.

Bring it on.

Hello friends!

Blogging for me is funny. When there is more to say of more substance, there's less time thus blogging is less frequent. But when there is less to say of less substance, there's more time thus blogging is more frequent. Funny how it works :)

Needless to say, there is so much to say!

1. Obviously, I'm getting prepared for marriage. 69 days. WOOHOO! :)

2. The wedding plans are going well! We have the location, I have the dress, people are on board to be involved with it all, I have the photographer, baker, etc. Working on the caterer and getting the invitations mailed out, and then after that it's just the little decorative details :) It's so much fun! Short engagements (for us, 4 months) are the best! Wedding planning doesn't have to be stressful. It's just about making decisions, which as we all know I looove to do :)

3. I'm in summer school. WOAH, is it a doozy! I'm in 2 classes for May: Hermeneutics and Parables of Jesus. I'm really enjoying them, thankfully. It's just 6 hours of class a day and 2 or 3 chapters of reading a night, with 2 5-8 page research papers due in two weeks. Busy busy busy! But it will be sooo worth it.

4. I'm living with the Smith's, my pastor's family! I'm loving it. I have this nice big room to myself! They are so gracious and have welcomed me like I'm family! It's awesome. I love their precious children. There are three of them, ages 9, 6, and 5. Wonderful!

5. The last "whirlwind semester" (as I lovingly referred to it as :) ended up nicely!  I got the grades I wanted. Three term papers and a lot of other essays. Off the top of my head, the total number of pages I wrote was about 60-70 pages! If you don't like writing papers, definitely don't become a Biblical Studies major :P. But I really did enjoy it. And NOW... I just have this summer, and then two more semesters! Then I'm DONE! Wow. Time flies...

6. In general, things are changing. I mean, I'm loving it! Just a lot of stuff that's pretty mind-boggling! Like, money money money... I'm going from never having to pay bills or anything more than just gas to paying for EVERYTHING with my husband, including insurance, bills, food, gas, and all that fun stuff! SHould be an adventure :) Thankfully Joey's been doing it for a while. But we still need to make our own "system"... we talked today about money, and he said that budgeting scares him, haha. Kind of foreign to me, but he said one of his fears is everything being planned out to the smallest detail and feeling like he's "bound" by a budget or all these rules and stuff. Makes sense for his personality. MY personality is that one of my biggest fears is NOT having that structure! But we'll figure out a system that works for us. When I described the kind of budget I'm thinking about he said that it's a lot better than what he thought. It's just going to be interesting. I'm quite excited to figure it all out!

7. Joey's working really hard on the house :) Getting all the drywall finished hopefully soon. He might have to hire some guys 'cause it's a LOT! He walked me through the house today and we talked about ideas and what is going to be done before July 22. SO excited!!! :):) The kitchen will be done, the bedroom, the bathroom, and even some of the living room! And a little deck by the back door too :) Woohoo! I love Joey and how hard he works!

8. He's ALSO been working really hard with his actual job (Commercial Appraising - he's contracted with an appraisal company in Houston). He's been getting more appraisals to do and has really been getting into a great rhythm of working :)

9. In general, things with my fam are crazy! But it's totally fun. I love how all of this craziness is bringing us closer together! This summer is going to be EPIC ;). Bethany GRADUATING and TURNING 18 (so weird...), NEW YORK!!, the wedding, My 20th birthday (in a little over a month!), etc. So fun! :)


Well, that's it for now! Love you all!

Hello! Wow, I have not posted very much this semester... things have been way too eventful to post! :)

Don't have too much time. But I do want to make a list...

1. So, this semester is almost over! Next year, I'm going to be.... a SENIOR. A SENIOR in college. How did this happen again? I have no idea, either. I mean, I'm graduating a year early...but seriously! Where did college go?!

2. To finish out this semester, all I have to do is finish one last 12+ page paper (about Ephesians 2:14-18, if you are curious) as a final for one of my classes and take 3 written tests next week. For my other class, we are meeting at our professor's house on Monday. She's going to make us King Ranch Chicken. We're going to talk about our Term Papers for our final. Sweet!

I really do love finals week. Joey and I like to joke that this is my favorite week of the year. To me, it's a recipe for rest, fun, and success. I understand that a lot of people's finals are really hard so they have to spend all their time studying. For some reason, my finals are never that hard because my classes usually aren't test-oriented. Even so, I like the idea of having a few days where all I have to do is walk into class, take a test then leave, washing my hands of that class FOREVER! And the rest of the time is filled with beauty: study for an hour or so for the final the next day, spend the rest of the time resting and getting things done!

Haha, but seriously, this time will be a little different because I have a big paper that I'm going to have to frantically work on finishing in the next few days. But at least I don't have any classes! :)

3. By the way... don't to toot my own horn too loudly, but I got the Excellence in Hebrew award on Honors Day :). The criteria is that the student must have the most hours in Hebrew, have the highest GPA and in general show the best knowledge and understanding of the language :) And I was chosen this year! Wow :) So fun! I really do love Hebrew and know that I am doing well in it. It's neat to be recognized like that :)

4. I'm still engaged! AHHHHH! Haha, it's still crazy and exciting! 84 days until Joey and I get married. WOAH! I'm pretty stoked :) The wedding is July 22 at Star Hill Ranch in Bee Cave, TX (look it up - it's SO CUTE AND FUN!!!). Things are coming together nicely. Got the dress, location, groom ;)... still looking for a photographer, caterer and a few other big things. But it's so fun! I'm so thankful especially for my mom, who is making wedding planning a lot less stressful than it has to be for me.

5.  I'm living with the Smith's (my pastor and his family) this summer! So excited! I love this family so much. I look forward to continuing in community this summer here in Belton. I won't be in Belton the whole summer... just taking 2 classes in the May-mester and a Tennis class in June (and hopefully an online class somewhere in there). But trust me, I'll be back to Houston quite a bit - for a Bridal shower, BETH'S GRADUATION, my birthday, wedding planning in general, etc. This will be the summer of "back and forth, back and forth, back and forth". But it's going to be so good! I'm turning 20 this summer. Woah! Bethany's graduating. Woah?!? I'm getting married. WOAH! (Pretty sure I couldn't say that enough!)

6. I'm also going to NEW YORK in July with Bethany, mom, Mama, Grandma, Aunt Jan, Hannah, Aunt Kim, Macy, Beth W., and I think that's it! I'm so excited! The first and probably last time I'll ever go to NY. But it will be a fun girl trip full of celebrating Bethany!

7. Another bit of news - next fall I'm going to be on church staff with Joey! The word "staff" might be a little misleading (it's not paid) - but basically, us along with two other couples (David and Sarah and the Arrazolas) will be on the College Leadership Team with the Smiths, and in general on the church leadership team with the two other families. So exciting! I feel so honored that they asked us. We will basically be doing what we've already been doing, just with a little more defining of roles (which is always nice). God's doing awesome stuff at UMHB! I'm loving it, exciting about investing more and more into the students here!



Wow! That was enough for one post. A lot happens in just a month! :)

Love you guys!

I'm assuming all of you have heard... by Joey and I are engaged! WOW! So exciting :) It's finally happened!

I'm sure that you guys (or should I say, you girls...) want to know the full story. I have been super busy this week, but I set aside time today (almost a week later!) to blog about it! I want to get it all written down while it's still fresh!

The story begins (believe it or not) months before the engagement!

Before
Basically, this semester has been difficult. It was way different than I imagined it would be. In October, Joey officially told me that he intends on marrying me (not a proposal; but he did talk to my dad before that! He's so awesome :). So, almost 6 months before the engagement we were basically committed. That was really good to get nailed down, but this also meant that I was in a weird place the longer time went on. After much prayer and conversations with people we trust, we came to know that we would be getting married in the summertime (probably July or August). How exciting! But things hadn't been official yet.

So, I fully expected that we would get engaged in January, at the very latest (ha!). I was trusting God with the timing, but of course kept getting my hopes up. I was "believing for January"! Then... the end of January came. Huh? I was confused. So I went to God again and prayed about it. I felt like He said that He wanted me to have faith for a February engagement (well, actually, after looking at my journal, I wrote down that he said "before March." But I remember feeling an ambiguity whether that meant it would be in February or before March is over). He also wanted me to pray for a specific amount for Joey to get back for tax returns. Alright! I was excited. I prayed, fully expecting everything to just start coming together. And then... the end of February came. Joey got a very low tax return (and when I say very low, I mean VERY low, as in you can barely buy a meal with it!). My faith was shaken. "But LORD? You said!" I had to fight disappointment and shame all around. I was starting to get weary of believing Him for things that I wasn't sure would happen the way I dreamed they would.

Through all of this, I held on to several things: first, I felt like God was saying at the beginning of the semester to choose to trust Him then, not after He comes through. Choose to trust Him and love Him every day, no matter the circumstance! So God really built my faith in this season. I held on to three verses especially as well:

1) "I am not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have FAITH and preserve their souls." Heb. 10:39. Choosing to press in and have faith!

2) "For the moment, no discipline seems to be joyful, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11. I feel like I went through lots and lots of training in this season :). Training in faith, patience, trust, and much discipline! A lot of the time it was not fun - Joey and I went through a few rough patches (gasp!), which was definitely not fun. But through it all, heart issues were worked out, and Joey and I got to practice having faith together. I'm believing that this season is yielding eternal fruit of righteousness, patience and faith. And that's what's important, because it will last! For that I am thankful.

3) "Blessed is she who believes there will be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." Luke 1:45. Much of this waiting time I felt like there were many unfulfilled promises. It was easy to get disappointed and even want to give up dreaming and hoping, believing God for things. But God always brought this verse to mind (a verse spoken to Mary mother of Jesus). He calls me blessed when I believe there will be a fulfillment, no matter what! The object of my faith is GOD! Not what I'm believing Him for! And He calls me blessed! So wonderful :).


So, it was hard! Insecurity in my relationship with Joey grew and grew throughout February. Jesus had to teach me that I can be secure in Him even whenever I'm not secure in my circumstances. I'll share from my journal what He spoke to me in this time: "You will never feel free in the natural if you are not free in the spiritual. It all starts with Me. The insecurities you are feeling are not of me. If all those things you are feeling are true (which most of them are not), would you still feel totally secure in My love for you and your identity in me? Or is your freedom tied to whether you're secure in this natural circumstance?" Wow! That cut me to the heart! But it was so good. His love and grace covered me the whole way!! Praise Jesus! These were valuable lessons! I didn't have housing plans for the fall, I was weary of holding on to the promise of getting married in just a few months without being engaged, I was in the middle of working on a huge paper, I wasn't sure what Joey's financial situation was at the time (he was going through a rough season with all that - but God broke through!), and just in general I was tired of waiting. BUT... Jesus taught me (through training) how to be secure in Him! Wow!


Things Start to Happen...
So THEN... on March 7th, I figured out that Joey had talked to my dad a few days earlier :). I wasn't supposed to know, but I figured it out through various sources. Basically, Joey went to Houston that Saturday to go to his niece's birthday party. Little did I know, he spoke to my dad in Houston before! He asked my daddy for his hand in marriage :). So awesome!!

*Looking at my journal again, March 5 was the day Joey talked to my dad. On that very day, I felt like God was prompting me to write down what my heart's desire with all this stuff would be (also based off an encouragement from Sarah). Among other things, I wrote:
-To be engaged before March 26th
-For the ring to be simple and beautiful and fit perfectly
-For everyone to be so excited, and for there to be a celebration of some sort
-For the proposal to be sweet, private, super-romantic and involve DANCING

That list will come into play later :)

The middle of March was focused on the mission trip to Edinburg. I knew for sure that I wouldn't get engaged during the trip, so I just tried not to think about it very much.


The Week Before
Okay, so the week before was pretty much horrible! I mean, there was so much grace for me in it all, but I'm telling you, I was DONE! I felt like God wanted me to meditate during the week on Colossians 3:1-3 and work on setting my mind on things above. Boy, that was hard. I was trying not to get overwhelmed with everything and still hold on to Him in faith. As I read my journal, I see that every day I had to continually give Him my dreams and pray in faith for supernatural provision and a soon engagement! But I certainly was emotional that week. I wrote that I felt in the dark - but because of the faith He had grown in me, I was able to write that "I will walk through darkness and fire with you, Jesus, just so long as I can hear your whisper in my ear and feel you next to me the whole way!"

Thursday and Friday especially were hard. I knew that March 26th was coming up, and I wasn't sure that it was going to happen then :(. I was ready for the abundance promised to come, ready for the fulfillment of what had been spoken. But I continued with all my might to keep making the choice to love, trust, bless and obey Jesus because He's worthy!

*This is important for the story later: earlier this week before, Joey and I were trying to think of when we could have our next date (it had been two weeks since our last). The only time we could think of was Saturday (the 26th) before Lucy and Maggie's bday party. But I only remember us kind of mentioning it, like we said that we would "get lunch before", which in my mind says that we'll go pick up Taqueria 30 minutes before or something, not like a date. We never really set a time or said it was official. Besides, we ended up being able to have a real date that Monday night anyway. So I actually ended up making lunch plans with two other people on Saturday! One of them canceled because they were told Joey was going to propose to me, then when I told Joey I was having lunch with the other person he was thrown off! We had this huge conversation about "lunch" on Saturday; I was confused as to why it was a big deal :). It was funny because usually our roles are reversed: usually, a plan gets mentioned once and I think it's final, but Joey forgets all about it. This time, I forgot about it! He played it off and kind of acted like he was a little hurt, confused as to why I don't want to go on a date with him. So I was like, okay fine! So I moved up my hang-out plans with the other person and planned to have "lunch" on Saturday :). Oh, and thank the Lord, I was planning also on wearing my pretty new dress! :)

Friday night I went to Houston with Elise, Diana and Hannah (freshmen friends) to go see Bethany's UIL play! On the way back, I cried to them and shared my insecurity about how the next day would be March 26th and that I was afraid that I would be disappointed with God. I expressed my weariness. Of course, they knew that I would be getting engaged :), but they were so sweet! They encouraged me and prayed for me and I'm sure just tried not to DIE because they couldn't hold it in any longer :)

So I went to bed that night full of FAITH!


The Day Of!!
*On March 26th (which was a BEAUTIFUL, sunny day), this is from my journal: "I am not ashamed that it's March 26th! God, you are good! My faith is in You, You are my strength and shield! ...Continue to help me walk in faith! Guard my mind as Joey and I hang out." I wrote down Psalm 26:3 - "Your lovingkindness is before my eyes..."

I had planned on having breakfast with my friend Brittany that morning (who knew Jo was going to propose) at 10, and then Joey would pick me up "a little after 11" (which, I figured it would end up being around 11:15 or 11:30 because he's usually a little late to pick me up). Of course, Brittany is also dying because I'm talking about all this stuff! Then, the unthinkable happens - I was THIRTY MINUTES LATE to being ready for Joey! My phone was in the bathroom, and Brittany and I were having a really good conversation in my room. So, it's 11:15 and I realize that I don't have my phone. I see, like, 5 missed calls from Joey and several text messages. AHH! So I had to frantically get ready, and Brittany is trying to figure out a way to rush me out the door without making it seem obvious :).

Then, I see Joey and apologize profusely. By this time, I'm pretty frazzled. He says it's okay, and asks me whether I want to eat at Luigi's or Dead Fish Grill. I choose Luigi's.

Then, we get in the car, and we are on our way!


The Moments Before
I notice that we are driving toward his house. I ask him why. He tells me that he wants to show me something he bought last night. My heart leaps a little; what could that mean? But I definitely was done getting my hopes up about engagements, so I tried to fluff it off.

We get to his house. I expect him to run in and get something, but he comes around to open my door. We haven't really had much conversation about this point. We walk up to his porch. On his porch, there's a piece of blank, decorated wood. He says something along the lines of, "I know that you have been feeling pretty insecure about your housing plans for next fall. Well, I want you to know that you can be secure. You usually refer to this as 'Joey's House', but this is going to be your house, too. You can take more ownership of it now. I bought this wooden plaque; you can paint on it and write something for the front of our house."

"Wow, thank you!" I reply. I'm not sure how to respond... I'm thinking, "Is this some kind of gesture to say, 'I'm sorry that we're not engaged yet, here's something to hold you over'?" But take it with gratitude.

Then... he takes me inside his house.

*Now, it's important to understand that his "house" is actually a really old house that he bought a few years ago and has been in the process of renovating. So, it's all been gutted out and basically the whole house is a bunch of framing, plumbing and electrical work. There is one bathroom done, but other than that there's a bunch of construction stuff and wood everywhere.*

He walks me through each room and tells me that he wants more of my input on how to decorate everything. He asks me my opinion, I'm a little taken aback and say that I'm being put on the spot.

But my heart starts to pound!

He then takes me to a few feet in front of the doorway that leads into the big back room (which will eventually be the master bedroom, now it's just a framed room). He tells me to close my eyes. Okay, now my heart is REALLY pounding! Could this be it?


The Moment
*I'm trying to hold back tears as I type*

Then he goes back through the white sheet that is covering the doorway, and I hear music.


It's the song "Are You Sure?" by Bethany Dillon. He comes and takes my hand, and leads me back there.


*Imagine a couch on top of the rug*




I was in awe! I looked around the room, and of course, I knew :). He asked me if I wanted to dance (remember what I had written down a few weeks earlier?). I said YES!

Of course, by this time I'm bawling and laughing and just so overwhelmed with joy! It was the sweetest thing.

After the song, he said that yes, he WAS sure :). Then, he got down on one knee, and said this:

"Molly, I do love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and have a family with you. Will you marry me?"

Tears running down my face, I say a confident and resounding YES!!!!!!!!!

This was so special! This was the first time that he told me that he loves me. So sweet! Of course, I did tell him that I love him back.

He takes the RING, and he was shaking - he almost put it on the wrong hand:) I look at it and it's beautiful!!!


It's an ANTIQUE ring! So sweet! From the 1930's :). I absolutely love it! It's perfect!!!


We danced to two more songs: "10,000 Angels" by Sandra McCracken and "When You Love Someone" by Bethany Dillon :). It was so sweet. I remember just thinking, "I CAN'T believe it finally happened!!" I tried to soak up as much of it as I could. I didn't want to miss it! It was the sweetest thing ever!! I felt so lucky and abundantly loved! I was praising Jesus the whole time as well - He knew! And it was the perfect timing!

Then, we sat down on the couch and he played a powerpoint slide he made for me of pictures of us played to the song "Smile" by Uncle Kracker :). So sweet!

Then, he told me it was time for lunch at Luigi's. He handed me a beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers (that HE arranged himself! Go Joey!)...


And then we walked over to David and Sarah's house. I was pretty nervous! I was a little confused and did not imagine that I would see what I saw!



My family and Joey's family were there! They took pictures, and clapped when I walked in! It was so special and fun!!






Can you tell I'm happy? :)

So then, we go to Luigi's and celebrate! It was so much fun!


Not Over Yet!
The rest of the afternoon, we got ready for Lucy and Maggie's bday party and hung out. Joey and I got a little alone time and some time to take pics too.

Some of my faves:









So sweet :):)

That night, we were going to the church building for an Edinburg Reunion party like we had last year.

Little did I know...



Ah!! I mean, as if there weren't enough surprises in the day!! I was overwhelmed :) It was so sweet and amazing! It was engagement party for us :) So sweet!! All our friends were there! We got to tell our story, hang out and celebrate with dear friends, and then of course the night ended with a DANCE PARTY to worship and celebrate :):)


Whew! Can't believe it! So exciting! :)
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More details about wedding stuff and other things to come. But for now, I just want to enjoy this :)

Hello, all! :)

Wow. What a whirlwind this semester has been. I'm not going to lie, a lot has changed in the past 40 days! I mean, not necessarily circumstances... but I just feel like I've grown. God's doing a fresh thing among us.

Also, to be honest, the Facebook/blogging world seems very overwhelming! I will continue to blog because I know that you guys like being updated, but goodness me... I likely won't be on these things very often!

I could write post after post about all that's been going on. Right now, though, all I have time for is a list...

1. For starters, I did not eat meat or mexican food (or drink Coke, or get on facebook, do media, etc.) for 40 days! Basically, the month of February with some days tacked on on the beginning and end. I was in fact able to abstain from meat and mexican food. No meat was harder than I thought it would be simply because it provided much less options for me. I did not realize how much meat I eat! But cheese pizza with tomatoes has become a new favorite of mine :). The Mexican food part was pretty easy practically (there's still a lot that I could eat), I just simply wanted to be able to eat mex food :). That also meant no chips, salsa, queso, refried beans, mex rice, etc. But no worries, I had Taqueria two days in a row right after! Probably not the best idea (I'm really feeling it...), but worth it!

2. I have almost officially written the longest paper of my life! It's a 16-page Term Paper for my Deuteronomic History class. The topic is "Deuteronomy as the Theological Basis for the Deuteronomic History". The DH is Joshua - II Kings minus Ruth. I really liked the topic, but this paper is hard work! It's due Thursday and yesterday I finished the rough draft, so all I have now is editing! Yay! Lots of hours spent in the library researching through my 14 sources. My paper has 94 footnotes. I feel very accomplished!

3. I have 2 more Term Papers I need to begin... one due April 21st (the topic: Pro-slavery arguments in southern churches during antebellum/civil war years) and the other May 1st (topic: I'm unsure. Passage either out of Colossians, Ephesians, or Philippians. Right now I'm thinking either Ephesians 3:14-21 or Ephesians 5:1-21. But not sure). Whew! I can do this...

4. The 40-day fast really was amazing. Totally worth it. I fasted from food either 1-3 days each week (except for one). Worth it, worth it, worth it. This is not an empty chase. I learned so much. I'll blog more on it later.

5. We got together corporately for different prayer times each week (some we will continue!). I got to lead worship at one of them, Soaking Prayer on Monday nights at 8:30. I basically got to play the piano and sing songs, or sing whatever was in my heart as the Holy Spirit led! I grew a LOT in leading and listening to His voice as I lead doing this. So much fun! We also had prayer times on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and corporate worship on Saturdays. We got so much closer as a community. It was AMAZING getting to experience God together!

6. I'm going to Edinburg again next week for spring break! I am super pumped!!

7. I've been leading worship a lot more on Sunday mornings. Definitely a growing experience!

8. Stuff with Joey is still going well :). This season has been a great one for us. Well, not "great" at face value... maybe "refining" is a better word? I'm going deeper in trusting Jesus. And in patience.

9. I'm more committed to following Jesus than ever before. He's grabbed hold of me and not letting go. I'm saying YES to Jesus always! Always, always yes. He's my lifeline. He's met me in a life-changing way. Can't wait to share more!


Love you all!
Blessings!

Goodbye, blogosphere, for a while!

I won't be back until March. My church is doing a 40-day period of fasting starting tomorrow. Among the things I'm giving up are blogging, facebook, meat and mexican food. Woohoo!

These are very exciting times for our community here in Belton, TX :). God is moving in dynamic and powerful ways. He is pouring out His joy and letting us experience Him more together! I'm truly excited about this time of fasting and seeking God with this community. I'm truly blessed.

Love you guys! You know how to reach me!

While I am not a fearful person, I feel like I have been attacked by fear lately. "You aren't doing enough," "you don't love Jesus enough," "your relationship with Jesus is fake," "you don't really love people." Thoughts that come out of seemingly nowhere! Exposing these thoughts to the light and proclaiming God's perfect love because His perfect love casts out fear!

I think I understand a little more what this verse means:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment." (NKJV) 1 John 1:18

Fear involves torment; but Jesus took my torment.

"He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed."
Isaiah 53:5


When these thoughts enter my mind, I have the freedom in Jesus to run to His arms and find shelter in His wounds and beatings. He's my covering; my assurance. In Him there is mercy and plentiful redemption (Psalm 130:7).

I love this quote from St. Bernard of Clairvaux:

"Christ is the rock... and really where else is there any safe sure rest for the weak except in the Savior's wounds? I have sinned gravely, my conscience is disturbed, but not perturbed, because I shall remember the wounds of the Lord...

As for me, whatever is lacking in my own resources appropriate for myself from the heart of the Lord, which overflows with mercy. And there is no lack of clefts by which they are poured out. They pierced his hands and his feet, they gored his side with a lance, and through these fissures I can suck honey from the rock and oil from the flinty stone - I can "taste and see that the Lord is sweet"...

My merit therefore is the mercy of the Lord. Surely I am not devoid of merit as long as he is not of mercy. ...Where failings abounded, grace abounded all the more (Rom 5:20). A wealth of goodness is stored up for me in the clefts of the rock. How vast in them the store of your abounding dulcedo (sweetness)... What abundance of dulcedo is here, what fulness of gratia, what perfection of virtus!"

Friends, we are free! Let us behold His glory always!

A lot of my memories growing up involving church revolved around going to the youth band practice with daddy and listening to all the songs. I still remember a lot of the songs, who played them, all the words, etc. :) One song in particular I've remembered often that I've just recently pursued actually owning is the song "Could I". One of those songs I remembered well enough to know the melody and a lot of the words, but not all. But I do remember sweet Jessica Heaton would sing this song; it always brought such peace to my soul.


It's one of those "Could I" nights :). I love that His answer is always "Yes". It's His delight.

Could I just sit here a while
Know that there's nothing that I need to say
Safe in the knowledge that you know my ways
Love me completely, no need to hide a thing

Could I just stay here a while
Letting you melt away all of my fears
I feel your comfort when you are so near
I'll hide myself in this shelter you've made for me

Could I?

Could I just kneel here a while
Doing what I was created to do
Bowing in reverence I long to adore you
Willingly giving all that I can surrender

Could I just rest here a while
Letting you whisper my burdens away
In all of my journeys there's no other place
Where I find refuge strength for my weary heart

Could I?

Well, I'm officially back in Belton! It's great to be back. As I got back and was unpacking, I thought to myself that I am extremely lucky and blessed to be able to call two places "home"; two places where I feel comfortable, accepted and loved! Two places that I know I have good community in! Lovely :).

I do miss home. I remember feeling this way when I came back last semester; despite how much I love Belton (and, of course, contrary to what my tears upon leaving Belton for Christmas Break would testify...), there's much I love about returning home. I love the rest, the familiarity, the comfort of my room I've lived in for most of my life, and, of course, my family. Getting closer to my parents and having many laughs with my siblings (having the whole family together is always such a treat and blessing!!), getting to see Mama and Papa more often (Mama and I got to have some great and encouraging talks!), getting to see old friends from near and far, etc. Of course, also, during Christmastime I get to see more extended family as well! I always love seeing Grandma and Grandpa in San Antonio, and of course the Bain's and Uncle Jim's family. I truly am blessed.

But something else I know I miss... there's something quite unique about my relationship with God when I go back to Houston. I think especially since the summertime, I feel like I have made and cultivated many great memories in my room. Might sound strange :). But in Houston, there's more time for leisure (leisure that "feeds the Spirit"), rest, study, discovery, and I really actually feel more focused. Getting back, there's many responsibilities and activities I'm involved in. Though most of them are spiritual in nature, and definitely encouraging, there's still something very special about getting away from the "activities" and the "going" and being able to cultivate more of an "abiding" relationship with Jesus. I know for certain that doing that over the summertime cultivated much fruit by God's grace to sustain me and have more to share with others last semester. Reminds me that it all goes back to the secret place.

I love this quote from "Secrets of the Secret Place" by Bob Sorge:

"He wants us to be people of 'one thing': the passionate pursuit of His face. The greatest dimensions of Kingdom power will be touched by those who are truly ignited and energized by their personal love relationship with the Lord Jesus."

This is so true. If I want at all to be effective in any of my activities, no matter how spiritual in nature, I MUST be abiding in Jesus. I MUST set aside the best of my day in the morning to gaze on His face and receive from Him. I MUST be deeply in the Word and press in with prayer. I MUST look on His face throughout the day. There simply isn't anything more important than that! Preparing for this semester, I have felt the Spirit highlight this in my heart: He's not asking me to be strong; He's asking me to lean on Him. He's asking me to abide and fix my gaze on Him.

So cool, because Pastor Tad talked about this yesterday :) Well, specifically the Glory of God. The main passage was 2 Corinthians 3:15-19, one of my favorite passages:

Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Tad had some really good words for us. Here are some I took down in my journal:

1. My primary job is to behold His glory! As I do I will be transformed and change!

2. He defined "to behold": to look intently/closely, fasten one's gaze, to perceive, and by implication to visit

3. "Glory": His honor and fame, magnificence, weight, "copiousness"

4. We behold His glory when we place Him in the highest place of honor and fame in our lives, because when He is in that place in our hearts we see Him as He really is.

5. His Glory is in His Grace (Ephesians 1:6 - "the glory of His grace...). When I live in His grace and not the Law, I give Him glory and can behold Him as He is

6. His glory is in His Body! We can behold His glory as we live in His family, to know and be known. (Ephesians 1:18 - "glory of His inheritance in the saints"). When we live in the community of his Grace, we'll see His glory

7. *Look in the face of Jesus! Jesus is the chief expression of the glory of God. He used one of my favorite verses here:

"For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
2 Corinthians 4:6

SO good. :)


Anyways. So I intended to talk about my first day when I began to post this :)

It really has been an easy first day. First day of last semester was really overwhelming. But today, I just had an 8:00 (which, I think when I get the hang of waking up, I will actually like. Shouldn't take too long because I intentionally tried not to sleep in over the break and actually began to wake up earlier and earlier as school approached), which was a class about some of Epistles. We'll go over 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus, Hebrews James, and Jude... I think that's it? Seems like it's going to be very lecture-oriented. This professor, Dr. Martin, is one I have not had before. But I think I'll like him; he's very organized and structured, which I always appreciate :)

Then, I had several house in the middle of my day to get things figured out. I bought two books from the bookstore I need, got my notebooks together and printed out syllabi, rejoiced when I checked my mail (got $80 bucks from two different sources I was expecting last semester!! Praise the Lord! Perfect timing :), went to the Bursar's office and cashed a check, went to the library, took back a book I had bought that morning to the bookstore (waited in a long line), etc. Went to Hebrew, but my professor wasn't in yet from Israel so we got to leave after 5 minutes. Sweet!

Now, I think I'm going to get a head start on some readings. Seriously. Haha, I'm looking for things to do! This is nice :) But I know things will definitely pick up soon.

In short, I do look forward to this semester a lot. God is good. Holding on to this:

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
Psalm 23:6

Going back to Belton in just a little over an hour!



It truly has been a great break :) Feel like I got closer to my family, and in general had a great and restful time. I'm excited about the second semester. But before I start to pack, spending a few more lingering moments in the quiet. Jesus is so good at quieting my soul. It's easy to let anxious feelings about the new semester arise, or to let feelings of regret for what I feel like I did or didn't do over the break take over... but then I remember my identity: I am HIS! All other identities - daughter, sister, discipler, LG leader, friend, pray-er, etc. - pale in comparison. The identity that I am HIS is one He has freely given to me by His grace. I can accept it and let His love pour over me. I love this about Jesus. I tend to be very task-oriented at times, and want to "go, go, go" and get things done, and sometimes see my times with Jesus simply as times to get commands to obey so I can please Him. While this is true in one sense, the main thing is always Love. Love should be the motivation; Love is what I receive from Him; Love is what was poured out and wasted at His feet by Mary (John 12:1-8). And it was sweet and fragrant to Him. Sometimes He just asks me to linger in His presence a little longer. After the reading, the prayer, the requests, the worship, and everything else we can do for Him... He loves it when we linger with Him, just to waste time with Him and be with Him!! Oh, that we would be people who simply receive His love and love Him. He died for us not so He can have "worker bees". He died for a Bride; He died for love!


This is something I'm learning more :)



Hope this song blesses you. It basically talks about everything I just said. I love listening to it at times and just letting it wash over me. Enjoy!






And au revoir, Houston! Bonjour, Belton; I eagerly await what is in store for me there.

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA! I enjoyed getting to see you and hanging out with you :) Love you!



Going back to Belton in just 4 days! Crazy. I'm ready to get back into a routine. But this break has been very fun with the fam!

Some highlights from 2010:


This is (some of) our Lifegroup! Love these guys. In the back, that's Joey, Ray, and Rene. In the front is Diana, me and Tiffany. (Missing in pic: Grant and Katie, Victoria, Josh.) Rene, Diana and Tiffany are all new freshmen! Woohoo! Had an awesome semester with Lifegroup! We multiplied out of the one I was in last year, three ways! Sarah and David now lead a young adult LG, and Mel, Carly, and Meredith lead a Nursing LG! SO AMAZING what God has done in all these LGs! After counting it up, we have more than DOUBLED in size as a unit after we multiplied! So awesome to see it all in action.

I especially enjoyed getting to get in close community with Diana and Tiffany, the girls beside me in the picture, along with Katie (picture below). We met together on most Fridays and prayed, ministered, and got discipled together! So amazing. It was awesome to see Diana and Tiffany grow leaps and bounds! ESPECIALLY Tiffany, who basically became a new believer!! I got to be a part of her making a definitive decision to follow Christ and be BAPTIZED! Such a joy :):) I love these girls so much. Can't wait to see them disciple girls and hopefully eventually lead their own LG :)


This is a picture of Joey and I with Grant and Katie!! I LOVE this couple! They are a newly married couple (married for a year as of 2 days ago!) who both grew up in Papua New Guinea. Grant just graduated this December and Katie is graduating in May! They have been changed through community and seeing the power of God in this past year and a half, and Joey and I got the privilege of getting to lead and do LG with them :) We met together at their apartment in Temple every Monday night. We worshiped, prayed, hung out, and planned Lifegroup together. Definitely one of my main highlights of the semester was getting to know them better!


Of course, here's Joey and I :) He's such a gift, and one of my VERY MAIN highlights of last semester of course was being in a relationship with him :) It was a new experience leading with him and seeing how we work together in ministry. He's such a great leader, and I feel like we are a great team! He has the values deeply rooted in his heart and loves Jesus so purely - it all comes out naturally and he is so good at communicating the vision and heart behind Lifegroup and the love and mercy of Jesus. He's bold and is a man of integrity! And then I'm able to come in and help with the "administrative" stuff and get to connect with people on campus since I'm a student :) I love it! So neat to see him step out as a leader!

And, of course, I felt like we grew in our personal relationship SO much! I feel we get closer and closer!



Those are the highlights with Lifegroup. I don't have the energy right now to accompany all other highlights with pics. But here are some more:

1. Getting to babysit Lucy (almost 3 yrs old) and Maggie (over 1 1/2 yrs) every Sunday night this semester while David, Sarah and Joey go do the training school! I loved getting to spend more time with them :)

2. Getting to hang out with David and Sarah more in general :) I loved especially to still have that special time with Sarah each week. It probably wasn't as much as last year (because last year I had loads and loads of time!) but it was still about every week! I love talking with her; she encourages and challenges me sooo much! David and Sarah are one of the best couples I know. They are SO intentional about their relationships and love Jesus so passionately and purely. I love watching how Sarah seeks to live for the Kingdom and be productive as a stay-at-home mom (which is, of course, a full-time job in of itself). She has taught me a lot about the purpose behind being a mom as she disciples and cherishes her kids, but also reaches out to other people and is totally involved in community as well!! She's amazing and I have no idea how she does all of it, but it gives me much hope and makes me excited to be a mom one day (if the Lord blesses me with that honor)!

3. Living in Beall has been pretty good! I ended up living with 5 other girls. Sounds crazy, but the girls I live with are awesome and it's been pretty easy to live with them! Though we are all busy, I did feel like I got closer especially to Jamie (my roommate of almost 2 yrs now) and a new friend, Chelsea, who moved here from California and lives in our flat. I enjoyed celebrating birthdays and just hanging out in the living room with them! A very positive experience!

4. Growing in my relationship with my parents! Very high on my list of highlights. Because of changes and growing up stuff, I feel like we got closer. I love them very much and even though I was busier and didn't do as well at keeping in touch... I'm excited for the future of our relationship :)

5. Getting to lead worship more! Continuing to lead worship in LG, playing the bass nearly every Sunday in church, and even one Sunday getting to lead the Refuge band because Mark was sick! That was crazy :) First time to lead with a guitar AND a full band. I also got to lead worship for Refuge one Wednesday with Carly on the djembe. I'm enjoying getting to grow as a worship leader and musically as well, of course. I'm very thankful for the way that especially Tad (pastor), Brandon (leader of Sunday band) and Mark (leader of Refuge band) are helping me! They are so encouraging and give me room to grow and flourish in a safe place. They are very wise and experienced in this way, and I look forward to learning more about "flowing in the river" (as Tad often says :).

6. Growing in my relationship with Carly as well! She GRADUATED and is now an RN at Scott and White, in "L&D" (Labor and Delivery)! So proud of her, and am so thankful that I get to walk with her. She has so much wisdom!! She listens very well and has such a close relationship with Jesus. She inspires me very much. I'm excited about what we'll be doing together this next semester.



I'm sure I've forgotten things. Those are most of the highlights I can think of (that have to do with being in Belton!).

I'm really excited about next semester!!! God's going to do awesome things! I look forward to growing more as a leader and getting to be more a part of what God's doing on UMHB campus and in Belton :)

Love you all!

Haha, it's been so long since I last posted!! Sorry. I wouldn't blame you guys if you had just stopped reading my blog altogether :)

Anyways, not much to say. It's Christmas Break! Been very good so far. Gearing up for next semester!

Random, but I listened to this earlier and enjoyed it. Very interesting. A sermon called "Yes, God Likes to Party" by Robert Herber (pastor of "All Peoples Church" in San Diego, CA; a 2-yrs-old Antioch church plant). Talks about redeeming the idea of "partying" and having fun and FREEDOM and JOY in Jesus. I recommend it highly! Listen to it here.

Love you guys, I guess I'll post something more meaty soon? :)

It's been a while (of course)! But I'm still here. And I'm completely done with three of my classes! Three more finals to go, and I'm halfway done with college! :)

When it's officially over, I'll try to give a comprehensive recap.


- Can I just say that I love finals week? I know it's stressful to a certain degree; but on the other hand, you don't have normal classes so you have more time to study. And for those of us who don't necessarily study all day, that just leaves more free time :) Woop!

*** If you read anything from this post, read the rest of this! It's good stuff, I promise ya :) ***

- Lately I've been overwhelmed by the simple fact that I can have an intimate relationship with God. The Creator of the Universe!!

Exodus is rocking me right now; I love reading about Moses' relationship with God. He met Him face to face. God showed His glory and let His goodness pass before Moses.

I feel like too many times we can live like we are on the fringes. Read this:

"So it was, whenever Moses went out to the tabernacle, that all the people rose, and each man stood at his tent door and watched Moses until he had gone into the tabernacle. And it came to pass, when Moses entered the tabernacle, that the pillar of cloud descended and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and the Lord talked with Moses. All the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the tabernacle door, and all the people rose and worshiped, each man in his tent door. So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend."
Exodus 33:7-11

Several things from this:

1. What a PRIVILEGE to be in the presence of God!! What honor! How undeserving we are! Yet, He has promised us that we can enter into His presence through the blood of Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:19-23). The Israelites recognized this; they stood outside their tents and worshiped the Lord from where they were while Moses interacted with YHWH Himself. If someone were to tell them that they could do the same, they would have been so overcome with joy and astonishment!

2. More than the fact that we have simply the possibility to enter His presence, we have been invited into His presence. I love meditating on this verse:

"Blessed is the man You choose and cause to approach You,
   that He may dwell in Your courts.
We shall be SATISFIED with the goodness of Your house,
 of Your holy temple."
Psalm 65:4

We have this same invitation, because God is just that GOOD and LOVING! The Father wants to be with us. Who are we to not be at all times satisfied with the goodness of His presence? Who are we to treat it flippantly? Who are we to run to anything else for satisfaction?

I also read 2 Samuel 9 the other day, and it rocked my world! (I won't post all of it. Read it!) David basically adopts Mephibosheth (the last remnant of Saul's house) into his family. Mephibosheth is lame in both his feet, and calls himself a "dead dog" (v. 8). Mephibosheth knows he's unworthy; yet David's only response is that of honor. He gave him an inheritance and the invitation to eat bread at his table ALWAYS (v. 9-10)! I just love the last verse of chapter 9:

"So Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem, for he ate continually at the king's table. And he was lame in both his feet."
2 Samuel 9:13

THAT'S what God has done for us!! This story about David and Mephibosheth is just a shadow and a picture of the Father's heart; he has done this for us!! We were DEAD DOGS. We are lame in our feet, broken people who don't deserve any kind of honor or inheritance. But the LORD in His mercy and grace outdoes us in honor and gives us a new name and an inheritance. And He gives us the invitation to eat bread at His table always and dwell in the house of the KING!

How else can we respond, but like Mephibosheth? What other choice to we have but to dwell in God's presence and enjoy fellowship with Him as He fills us and satisfies us with His goodness, ALWAYS, all the time, despite our lameness?

Woo! This just gets me so excited :)


Read Psalm 65:4 again. Doesn't the story of David and Mephibosheth put it in a new light?

God, make me satisfied with the goodness of Your house, always! Where else can I go?


3. Keeping that in mind, too many of us live like we are still orphans, or like we are like those Israelites who could only worship from the outside. The people of Israel saw God's acts, but His ways He revealed to Moses (Psalm 103:7). Moses interacted with God face to face. God revealed His name to Moses!

Okay, this is cool. When I read this, I literally stopped and thought, Why do I feel like this is the first time I've read this? I must have read this passage at least 10 times! How come this verse has made me stop in my tracks before?!? Why don't I read this verse every day? Here it is...

"Now the LORD... proclaimed the name of the LORD."

...Okay, so that's a big deal. Just so ya know. Back then, one's name revealed one's character and the measure of glory assigned. Names revealed authority and basically was the essence of the person.

Now that that's established, read on :)

"The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty."
Exodus 34:6-7

This is the NAME of the Lord! This is what God chose to reveal to Moses about Himself. And Him and Moses were CLOSE; they spoke face-to-face. I'm thinking we should pay close attention!

This means:
1. God is the LORD; The I AM, who will always be who He will be
2. He is merciful
3. He is gracious
4. He is slow to anger (some versions say longsuffering or patient)
5. He abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness
6. He is forgiving
7. He is JUST

We are called to be Holy as He is holy (Leviticus 11:24). In essence, we are called to reflect the character and name of God to the world. If you look in the Bible, the reason God punishes people or disapproves of certain things is essentially because those things do not reflect His character. They do not reflect His holiness.


***Keep tracking with me!! This is cool!***

So, keeping that in mind... we are not orphans. Just like David (and, as always, abundantly more so), we have been adopted into His family. We have been given the name and inheritance that come with being a child of the King!

We do not have to take care of ourselves. We do not have to look anywhere else for satisfaction. We do not have to be ashamed or feel like we have anything to prove. We already are accepted. We are already abundantly loved. We are HIS, completely, through and through!

I hate the lies of the enemy that try to convince us that we are not His. The Church does not have to buy into the lies. (By the way, went to a conference last night and heard a really good message on this topic by Bill Johnson. I wish everyone could have heard it!)

Further, another lie that needs to be dispelled is that we have to be like the Israelites who did not yet have the right through the blood of Jesus to be in His presence or have the privilege of getting to know God and His ways, not just His acts.

The reason that I am so passionate about this is because I believed that for so long. Sure, I knew that God loved me, and sure, I knew that God on some level wanted a relationship with me, but I never knew how personal it could be. In a lot of ways, it's too good to be true! But it's so good. And SO TRUE. Makes me love Him more; His goodness is overwhelming! Makes me want to know Him more; His character is so matchless and pure! Makes me want to speak with Him face-to-face like Moses did! Makes me want to be in His presence and be satisfied with the goodness of His house always.


While we are free to enter into His presence through the blood of Jesus, it is also not a flippant matter. Oh, that we would have the fear of the LORD! My prayer is that our generation will ask, "God, what is going to take to know You?" Praying, seeking, fasting...ultimately, it takes complete surrender. The light of His presence reveals our sin (Psalm 90:8), and He is a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24). Let us not be afraid to "dive headlong in the blazing unknown" (that's for you, Jo!).

And in all of this, let us keep our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God (Hebrew 12:2). For we have not come to the mountain that may be touched and that burned with fire - the mountain that Moses spoke with God on...

No! We have come to

"Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.

See that you do not refuse Him who speaks. For if they did not escape who refused Him who spoke on earth, much more shall we not escape if we turn away from Him who speaks from heaven, whose voice then shook the earth; but now He has promised, saying, 'Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven.'. Now this, 'Yet once more,' indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.


Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire."

Hebrews 12:22-29

I LOVE His promises! Three of the best promises in the Bible:

1. Promise of God's presence: "It is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deut 3:16
2. Promise of Jesus' presence: "Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20
3. Promise of the Holy Spirit's presence: "I will not leave you as orphans... He will give you another Helper [the Holy Spirit], to be with you forever." John 14:18, 16

To the end of the age, FOREVER, we are not alone! We are NOT orphans! Can I just dispel the lie right now that God will ever take away His presence from us? I used to believe that. If I was in a "dry spell" or whatever, I would just convince myself that God was punishing me by taking away His presence and leaving me to walk alone. I've also believed (somewhat sub-consciously) that He will one day walk away from me and give up on me if I don't live this life right. WHAT LIES!

I HATE the works of the enemy. The enemy comes only to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY (John 10:10). He DEVOURS (1 Peter 5:8). He is the father of lies, the deceiver of the whole world (Revelation 12:9).

But JESUS came to DESTROY the works of the enemy (1 John 3:8)! What wonderful news.

His Truth destroys lies. Where His light is, no darkness can dwell. Run to Jesus; let Him take away fear and the lies that plague your heart and mind. Jesus is LORD. He is supreme in power and awesome in glory. He is the Father to the Fatherless and Hope to the Hopeless. He is cherished as one in millions and millions. He is a prized possession, more to be desired than much gold. He is powerful and mighty; beautiful and perfect. Let's listen to His words and obey. And let's find rest in His light and presence as He destroys lies.

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the NEW and LIVING way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:19-23

Where has the time gone since I last posted? It's been 8 days. So much has been happening! So many good things.

1. I can feel the end of the semester coming. I'm trying to stay "in-gear", but it's getting harder... and harder... and harder. Thanksgiving is going to be a nice break (though I'll still have quite a bit of work to accomplish), and then before I know it, I'll be home to Houston for a MONTH!

2. I've been experiencing sweet times with the Body of Christ lately. Especially last weekend; a close friend and mentor of the Antioch movement (well, specifically for us, of Tad and Sherry, our pastor and his wife) named Joe Ewen (from Scotland) came to encourage and pray over us last Sunday night. An amazing night of watching the Body of Christ at work as he encouraged and challenged us through Scripture and then prayed over each of us individually (not everyone from our church came, but a pretty good handful). It was neat seeing not only him praying, encouraging and prophesying but also all of us together for one another. One of those nights where it truly felt like I am a part of the Church, and even like I am a part of the early church in a sense. Reminded of several verses in Acts:

"awe came upon every soul..." (Acts 2:43)
**"Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common.  And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them..." (Acts 4:32-34)
"So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied." (Acts 9:31)

Mr. Ewen prayed very encouraging words over me that he senses the "sweetness of God" in my heart, and that other people's hearts around me are going to melt and be drawn to God because of His grace in me! So sweet. Encouraging, and challenging as I've been considering how to better emanate that "sweetness" and grace to others in my classes.

I just love being a part of the Church. That night especially I could sense us all being brought closer together in fellowship and love. I felt love in my heart well up for everyone in the room, and deeper love and desire for my Savior as well. Reminds me of this exhortation by Paul in 2 Cor. 13:

"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all."

When we encounter the fullness of God, we will experience more grace, love and fellowship. I've especially been thinking about that last one. When I think about times that I've encountered the Holy Spirit the most, I'm always drawn to want to be with the Body of Christ. I always grow in my love for His people. The Holy Spirit brings us together and deeper into fellowship with one another. I LOVE that! It also challenges me. Makes me consider if I'm really filled with the Holy Spirit the times that I just want to withdraw from others. When we are filled with the fullness of God, and the more we get to know Him, the more grace we will have in our hearts, love we will have for Jesus and others around us, and the more we will be brought into deep fellowship with the Body of Christ.

3. Today was an eventful day! Let me try to outline it for you:
  - Was about to drive to Spinning. My car wouldn't start, so I had to make a mad dash to the building.
  - Went to Spinning, got out a little early, called mom/Joey. Went to Church History
  - After Church History, Joey picked me up so he can help me and jump my car.
  - We pick up DANIELLE WEGHORST on the way :)
  - Car won't jump. Something's wrong with my battery. It's corroded, I think. I decide I'll have to skip my 12:00 class (bummer...)
  - Get to hang out with Danielle for a while, then she has to go. Joey is still working hard on getting the battery out of my car. It's hard, though, because of the rustiness of all the bolts and the corrosion.
  - Basically, it takes 4 hours to get the car back in shape! Joey finally gets the battery free from the bolts and is able to clean it out. Then, though, we have to go to McCoy's to get at new bolt for the thing. So we do that, and at this point I'm tired so I'm basically napping in the car :). I nap in his car while he finishes up securing the battery and charging it. My car alarm goes off like 20,000 times.
  - Joey saves the day! My car finally starts!! He's so awesome and handy :):). My mom buys him and me lunch (she transferred some money into my account :) at Schlotzky's, and then he has to go to work. Whew!
  - Now, I need to get ready and then I'm going to dinner/a Jazz concert with Anna! I'm excited. It's free and it's just on campus, but should be fun! I'm going to sleep well tonight, though, that's for sure.

4. I'm running in the 5k TOMORROW! I'm a little nervous, but it'll be good and fun :). I ran 3.4 miles without too much difficulty on Tuesday. My goal is to not stop, to run it in under 30 min, and to have fun!


Alright, I think that's it for now! Love you guys.




** I got to experience this first-hand! Lauren, one of the other LG leaders, came up to me that night and asked if I needed a coat because she felt like she was supposed to give me one of hers. I said that I just have my black puffy jacket. Monday night, she came by and not only gave me this cute, fancy black pea-coat, but ALSO jeans that fit me perfectly and several cute shirts!! SUCH a blessing, because I've been needing new jeans (one of my pair ripped this year) and in general I don't have too many "nicer" clothes. I'm blessed and am certainly not in dire need of anything, but it was just so neat the way she was willing to give away and share her nicer things! She joyfully and abundantly gave, and it blessed me and showed me that the Lord cares about me and knows every need!!

There is a difference between having an opinion, that God is holy and gracious, and having a sense of the loveliness and beauty of that holiness and grace. There is a difference between having a rational judgment that honey is sweet, and having a sense of its sweetness. A man have the former, that knows not how honey tastes; but a man cannot have the latter unless he has an idea of the taste of honey in his mind. ...There is a wide difference between mere speculative rational judging any thing to be excellent, and having a sense of its sweetness and beauty. The former rests only in the head, speculation only is concerned in it; but the heart is concerned in the latter. When the heart is sensible of the beauty and amiableness of a thing, it necessarily feels pleasure in the apprehension. It is implied in a person's being heartily sensible of the loveliness of a thing, that the idea of it is sweet and pleasant to his soul; which is a far different thing form having a rational opinion that it is excellent.
-Jonathan Edwards, "Spiritual and Divine Light"

Read that for a Church History reading, and thought I'd share :)

Reminds me of this:

"O TASTE and SEE that the Lord is good!"
Psalm 34:8

I know it's been a while. Not too much has been going on... went to an amazing women's conference at Antioch in Waco (got to see Ally Short!) this last weekend, and this week has been the usual!

Wednesdays wear me out. Up at 6:30 for EMP (which I love :), and have classes from 9-3 with a one-hour break. My last class is the hardest to get through... a 2-hour Hebrew class! Though I enjoy the class at times when he's going really slowly it's pretty much a constant fight to stay awake.

I'm trying to learn how to rest in Jesus... to not turn to other things, even naps, to refresh me (not to say that naps are bad).

Loving this right now:

"Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;
    Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the great mountains;
    Your judgments are a great deep;
O LORD, You preserve man and beast.

How PRECIOUS is Your lovingkindness, O God!
  Therefore the children of men put their trust under the
    SHADOW of Your WINGS.

They are ABUNDANTLY SATISFIED with the FULLNESS of Your house,

 and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.

For with YOU is the fountain of LIFE;
   in Your light we see light."
Psalm 36:5-9

I'm also trying to work on simply hearing and obeying. This involves 2 commitments: First, the commitment to listen for His voice throughout the day. Hearing His voice is itself a step of faith;  when I open my heart to His guidance, it shows I trust Him. Secondly, of course, is the commitment to obey when I hear Him speak. No matter how tiny (if it's as simple as sharing a verse with a friend) or weird/outlandish it seems, if I want to be trusted with the BIG steps of obedience (like being a part of seeing nations transformed, people healed, etc.) I need to show myself trustworthy through being faithful in the little. I'm telling you, it's harder than it sounds! But I've been doing my best to let the Holy Spirit work through me this week, and have made a commitment (that I've already broken a few times, but there's grace) to obey every time I sense He wants to do something or speak something to someone. He's been speaking a lot more than I anticipated :), but it's been so good. Following Jesus first and foremost means to die with Him. But when we die to ourselves, we are promised that we are also RAISED with Him and that His life can be lived through us. This involves submission and commitment to simply obey. I've heard someone put it before that obedience is God's love language :).

Anyways, just wanted to update quickly! Love you all!

It's another Friday night in the dorm! Wonderful. Pretty much my only night a week to get things done and basically be by myself. Very refreshing. I've been studying for my Church History test on Monday and listening to podcasts.

How to report the new things...I'll use the good ol' LG leader meeting method of updating - talking about how we are each doing PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY and EMOTIONALLY.

Physically
I'm doing great! Spinning has been fun, though of course a little hard. I can tell that I'm getting back into shape. It's nice! I've also been drinking a lot more water. I've gotten in the habit of carrying around a water bottle with me to class everyday. It really helps keep me hydrated and alert.

Mentally
This one is always hardest for me :). (Probably because I default to "Emotionally"most of the things people would consider to go into the "Mentally" category.) I feel like I'm doing fine mentally. I had 2 tests this week, both of which I think I did fairly well on. I'm kind of at the point in the semester where I'm confident in the direction I'm going grade-wise with all my classes, so I'm much more confident mentally, if that makes sense. I'm kind of "over" the semester... in a good way. BUT I'm getting excited for next semester :) I'm taking:

-Hebrew
-Religion in America (another Church History-type class, by the same prof whom I LOVE... for upper-level credit)
-Deuteronomic History
-Later Pauline Epistles
-Pastoral Epistle's

Woohoo! I get to register on Monday :) I'm pretty excited!

Spiritually
Whew... this past week has been pretty crazy spiritually, in a good way! Instead of my normal readings, I've read Matthew 5-7 every morning this week. Challenging stuff. I decided to do that because I had been noticing different heart issues come up concerning the "basics" of loving others. I listened to a talk last weekend that discussed this passage (the "Sermon on the Mount"), saying that we will be SALT and LIGHT and will really impact the world when we learn how to love and simply follow the commands of Jesus. The problem is... those things He says in that sermon are IMPOSSIBLE to do on our own, something I have quickly learned :). We need Jesus to change our hearts. So I resolved to read this passage every day, focus on Jesus and abiding in Him, and ask Him constantly to change my heart. Specifically, I began to pray for a more tender heart for Him and His people. Wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but felt like I was supposed to pray that :). Which leads us to the Emotional...

Emotionally
I've had new emotions I've never felt before/don't know exactly how to deal with emerge this week, likely due to the last point :). This week has been more of a breaking down/humbling process. I've seen people in a new way, cried for reasons I've never been able to cry about before, and been way more sensitive to heart issues/what He is saying to me. It's been so good. I've had new desires spring up in my heart, specifically desires to share with and pray for the people around me, and people I've never met before. It's a strange feeling, but it's SUCH an answer to prayer! I'm continuing to press in, believing He's still working in me in ways that I can't see. He is so faithful and kind and gentle. I love it.

I'm learning more and more: when lies set in, when things get overwhelming, when nothing else makes sense, when I start trying to believe things that I know are not true, when I feel disgusted by my flesh, when I get nervous or afraid... I HAVE to cling to Jesus. He's the most sturdy thing I know. When my brain shuts down and gets all foggy, and my emotions take over, I pretty much don't know how to do anything else trustworthy or truthful except say His name and hold on tight. He's good and true every time. In these emotional and pressuring times, I gotta just ride the waves with Him! He's doing more than I can see. He loves me and is committed to guiding me. That all just makes me want to breathe a huge sigh of RELIEF :).

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Real quick, I want to do something that I haven't really done yet (not sure why). I want to talk about Joey a little bit :). I think the only times that I've mentioned him have been for introductory purposes or in just explaining what I've been up to. But for those of you who don't know him too well (which is all but about two or three readers of this blog), let me introduce you to Joey Wahlquist, one of the very best and coolest people I know, and one of my very closest friends :)

I think the best way to start would be in a simple list. I'm just going to come up with these off the top of my head, so we'll see how this goes. I'll just do 10 to start out with - nothing too overwhelming, serious or in-depth.

1. His full name is Joseph Scott Wahlquist. He was born in Houston, TX, on December 19, 1983 (and yes, for those of you who are trying to do the math that means that he is 7 and a half years older than me. And no, it is not weird to me - anymore - at all!). He actually grew up about 10 minutes away from where I grew up.

2. He loves Jesus. He is committed to the values of loving God, loving the Church and loving those who don't know Jesus. He's quiet, but from spending a lot of time with him I can attest to the fact that He really is passionate about those things. Anytime in our conversation that he really gets serious and passionate, I guarantee you 95% of the time he's talking about Jesus, the Church, or about the nations/the lost. It shows in any area of his life. He looks like Jesus; obviously, not necessarily in the physical sense, but in the way he talks and treats others. He is one of the most "above reproach" kind of people that I know. He never says anything bad about anyone, never complains, and never does anything questionable or inappropriate. He loves community and is passionate about the Church. He walks closely in our community at Antioch and leads LG with me. He takes it seriously and really does live like he believes that the local church is the hope of the world (the Church being the very hands and feet of Jesus Christ). He has given his life to the kingdom values and is committed to Jesus alone. I noticed this the very second I saw him. I KNEW he was a disciple of Jesus Christ. He is a warrior for Jesus, a kingdom catalyst, eager to reproduce the life he has found and all-around very godly and trustworthy. His spiritual gifts (that I see in him and that have been confirmed by others as well) are especially Mercy, Discernment and Evangelism/Church-Planting. He is gracious, kind and gentle, and communicates the GRACE and LOVE of Jesus Christ to me all the time. I could pretty much blog a thousand blogs about how wonderful and upright I find his character to be :)

3. He's pretty cool :). Back in high school he drove a white convertible Firebird. You pretty much can't get any cooler than that! No, but seriously. He always says the right thing and in general is very calm, cool and collected.He is awesome at pretty much any sport, specifically basketball. I sometimes feel like I'm way too "not-cool" for him, seeing as how I'm a clumsy mess, but I suppose somehow it works out ;).

4. He's quiet! That's the first thing my family said about him after they really met him, haha :). But he does talk - I think it's so funny when people ask me if him and I have actual conversations. Umm... HELLO! Haha. This relationship would not work if we didn't have conversations :). Quiet people are intimidating to some... but I LOVE quiet people (not to put Jo in a box or to label him as a "quiet person".... haha :) Not his identity, just his tendency)! I love the way we talk and converse. As you can imagine, I do talk more than him, but he's a GREAT listener, and I also pretty much hang on every word he says because I know that whenever he speaks he really means what he says! He's VERY affirming of me and does a great job at encouraging, especially after he found out that Words of Affirmation is one of my main love languages :). He's doing awesome at communicating the more and more we are together and the more he learns about me.

5. Like everyone, Joey has his quirks! Here are some of the funniest ones (in my opinion): he has one of those 100 oz. water jugs that men who drive trucks use. Thankfully, he doesn't carry it around with him everywhere, but I still have to laugh every time I see it, usually just in his car or when he's around his house :). He also loves talk radio, which may not seem like a "quirk" to some people, but I pretty much don't understand how anyone can stand to listen to talk radio (or radio in general) so it's a quirk to me! Another thing would be that he loves leftovers, and will pretty much eat any leftover that's been left in the fridge for about two weeks longer than any normal person would eat it. But this is also a quality that I admire about him, that he is very resourceful and is not a wasteful person!

6. He is working on renovating a house! He bought this extremely run-down house a couple years ago that is probably about 75 or so years old, gutted it out and is now completely redoing it. He lives in the shed next to the house (the word "shed" is misleading... he fixed it up to where it's a normal, carpeted and functional room, and it's pretty nicely sized) and is now working on completing the first room of the house, the bathroom! He first had an additional room added onto the backside of the house and is almost completely done with all the electrical stuff. He has framed the house and such and is now ready to work on the actual rooms. Very exciting! Needless to say, he is very handy, and a very hard worker :). He works great with his hands and is a mastermind of carpentry as far as I am concerned (though he would say that he's just kind of learning as he goes)!

7. His favorite bands/music include mewithoutYou (and other punk-ish, more "weirdo" bands :), Rich Mullins, Jeffrey Foucault, Antioch Community Church and Jesus Culture music! And more that I can't really think of right now. In general he enjoys folk/bluegrass music like I do :)

8. He dislikes coffee and tea, just like me!

9. He is very handsome :). He has amazing, deep blue eyes and a really sweet smile. In general I think he has a very gentle but strong face (if that makes sense; also, it should come out as a compliment, not an insult!). It makes me feel very safe.

10. He is FUNNY! Him and I have so much fun together. He loves to laugh, and is pretty much always smiling. He makes me laugh more than pretty much anyone else I know, and has a very distinct sense of humor. It's still hard for me to tell if he's joking or serious sometimes :). He embraces the cheesy phrases I say and enjoys poking fun at me, though not in a discouraging way. He's never too serious or too flippant. He has good timing and is very quick and clever. We laugh a lot when we are together, and I'm very thankful for him and his sense of humor that fits nicely with mine! :) (No, he does not think my "Doug" joke is funny, but doesn't mind that I love telling it and laughing at it every time :)

I guess that wasn't too "quick". But hope you learned a little more about him! Hopefully you can (if you haven't already) meet him face to face one day and see what I'm talking about!

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friend's voices
Better than the biggest dreams of my heart
And that's just the start
Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I want to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

'Cause You hold me now
In Your arms and never let me go!

You, O Lord, make the sunshine
And the moonlight in the night sky
You give me breath and all Your love
I give my heart to You because
I can't stop falling in love with You,
I'll never stop falling in love with You!

"I Can't Stop Falling In Love With You", Antioch Community Church